September 11, 2013

Running on E



That's how I feel these days. Like there is no way I have enough in me to make it through another crazy day much less another week.

Things have been more hectic than normal over here. Will was readmitted to the hospital last week for two days due to a fever. Thankfully it was a quick stay. But it was time away from the house, away from my to-do list, and away from our normal routine. On top of his third hospitalization, we literally spent all day at the hospital Monday due to Will's kidney issues.

All of this, on top of normal every day life, has me running on fumes.

Y'all I am flat out exhausted.

My house is a wreck. My to do list is a mile long. I feel like I am failing at accomplishing anything other than barely making it through the day.

I know this is just a season of life. And that the days are long but the years are short. And in a few years I will look back on this challenging time and feel victorious about surviving.

But...

I'm tired.

I'm sick of this season.

I'm sick of the hospital.

I'm sick of being trapped in the house all day long.

I'm sick of not being able to do things as a family of four since Will can't go anywhere.

I'm sick of not being able to see my friends because they have kids in daycare/ preschool and could pass germs our way.

I'm sick of feeling like I'm not cut out to be the mom of two special needs kids.

I'm sick of feeling defeated.

I know we will make it out of this season of life stronger. I truly do know that.

But right now?

I just want to crawl into a hole and hibernate until our season of health arrives.


5 comments:

Jennifer Gilbert Settle said...

You are allowed to feel that way!! Praying for healthy kids!! And sanity for mama!!!

Paige said...

You are absolutely allowed to feel that way, and there is no shame in it. Try to get a little "me time" if you can. You can do this.

Heather said...

If I lived close to you....in the same county perhaps? I'd come and clean your house from top to bottom. Really I would :)

Christy said...

There is no one or nothing, stating you can't feel that way.
You are such a strong mom/woman & God chose you for those two precious children because he knew you could do it! Sending prayers your way.

Shannon Dew said...

Oh mama! I cannot even begin to imagine what you are going through but I must say, you are handling this so much better than I think I would. You seem so strong, for your babies, and you are an inspiration. Praying that things start to look up, very soon. Hugs.

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