September 12, 2011

Day +12: I Spoke Too Soon

Kate's run of good days didn't last very long.

The past 4 days have been HARD. Kate tested positive for a virus and was placed back on isolation. It is nearly impossible to keep her occupied/entertained in her room. She wants to walk the halls and see people!

We've also been battling extremely low platelets and a shortage of Kate's specific platelet needs at the blood bank. Due to the shortage, Kate was unable to receive platelets Thursday which resulted in her levels completely tanking. We've been playing catch up since then which has led to daily platelet transfusions this week. Kate is covered in bruises - deep, dark bruises. We've been very careful to avoid falls/ tripping but, the littlest things cause bruising since her levels are nonexistent. Simple things like leaning over her toy bucket to pick something out results in deep bruises.

Kate's morphine has been upped yet again due to signs of discomfort. It seems to be helping as she is finally napping now after a marathon day yesterday that consisted of 12 straight hours of awake time. Thank goodness it was Sunday as Alex and I were able to deal with Kate together!

Today has been another stressful day.

Kate's ANC is still zero, her platelets were 5 before receiving a transfusion, and she spiked a fever. We still have no signs of engraftment.

There is some talk in the BMT community that fever, illness, and an overall blah feeling can be a reaction to the body ramping up for engraftment. But, it could also mean Kate is just sick because her counts are so low.

I'm trying to stay positive but, if I'm being totally honest, it's getting harder and harder every day. I never expected Kate's ANC to still be sitting at zero on day +12. I thought we would have seen some upward movement by now. Maybe my expectations were unrealistic but, I'm feeling defeated by her counts.

I know I need to trust in God's plan, keep the faith, and stop worrying. But, that is so hard to do as I sit and watch Kate feel so miserable.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

35 comments:

Jessica Hudson said...

You and your sweet girl are in my thoughts and prayers every single day. You are so strong and Kate is so lucky to have you. I wish there was something I could do or say to make it better... Just know there are people all over the country pulling for you both.

Jess said...

Keep the faith, we're praying hard up here in Milwaukee.

Lindsey Brown said...

is there anything I can do about the platelets??? Im O neg... let me know

Spring Girl! said...

We are praying for her here in Evansville, IN! I'm O+ would love to donate!

lissasue3 said...

I'm sorry Lindsey. I hope that Kate starts to feel better soon, that her numbers increase and she starts showing signs of engraftment. ((hugs))

Lindsey said...

I would love to send you sweet girls something.. what is the hospital address? Hugs, mama. I know it is hard and it seems there are setbacks but remember God is good! Keep the faith for sweet Kate.

Anonymous said...

I'm so, so sorry and I'm keeping your sweet girl in my T&Ps!!

Kelly said...

Thinking of you and hoping things start getting better. <3

Erin said...

I don't even really know what to say at this point. I will be positive for you if you are having a hard day. Praying for Kate and for you and Alex. I hope tomorrow is a better day. Sending love love love

Megan and David said...

I'm happy to hear that her feeling like this COULD be a sign that engrafment is about to happen. I'm sorry that things aren't going smoother.

I'm praying for you, friend.

Lili said...

Hi Lindsey,

I am a fellow graduate of MSU and a BMT nurse in Dallas (adults). I have found your blog through another MSU grad. My husband and I have been keeping up with your blog and Kate's progress. We are praying for engrafment as well! I am sure you have heard this, but don't forget that her counts are being drawn from her blood, but just imagine all the work being done at her bone marrow! Praying for you and your family!

Sincerely,

Lili Ray

Katherine said...

We're thinking of Kate every day up in Boston. All our good thoughts and strongest prayers.... Hope tomorrow is a better day for both of you!!

Anonymous said...

prayers for your beautiful girl!

Anonymous said...

I'm so, so sorry and I continue to keep your precious girl in my T&Ps!!

Rhenee Berger said...

I'm sorry to hear this... I will surely continue to pray for your family.
On a positive note, I remember feeling very defeated at the slow rise (if any) in ANC. Suddenly, it subtly shows up on the radar; and then, it shoots up quickly! I hope & pray that Kate's begins to rise soon!

Katie @ Loves of Life said...

sending up some prayers for kate right now, and that God would just keep on giving you the strength and comfort to keep on taking care of her to the best of your ability. you are awesome. *muah*

Katie @ Loves of Life said...

sending up some prayers for kate right now, and that God would just keep on giving you the strength and comfort to keep on taking care of her to the best of your ability. you are awesome. *muah*

The Swanbergs said...

Just wanted to say that I'm sending positive thoughts and vibes your way...I think about your daughter almost every day, though we don't know each other. Good luck.

Austen said...

I stumbled across your blog on the bump a year or so ago, and it probably seems strange, but I have followed it since then. Until now I have never commented, although I have wanted to tell you many times how deeply I feel for your family. What you are experiencing is unimaginable. Please know that we are praying for your daughter and for speedy recovery for her. I wish you all strength, peace, and healing.

Wendy said...

Extra prayers coming your way! Hopefully this WAS the worst you'll experience and it'll only get better from here!!!

Beth said...

In addition to prayers for Kate's health, I pray for you and Alex to continue to have strength.

Erin said...

LOTS of prayers for you and Kate. Stay strong momma. Her counts will go up and your prayers will be answered. It's SO much easier said than done but trust in His plan!

Weaning Breastfeeding said...

Been reading your blog, and I must say that you are admirable! A lot of mothers have to deal with much more! I applaud you!

Anonymous said...

"I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, "Move from here to there" and it will move." -Matthew 17:20

Faith for Kate in Indiana. We will continue to pray. God will come through!

Emily said...

I pray daily for strength for you guys and for engraftment and will now add encouragement to the list. Hoping more good days return soon!

Lesley said...

Continuing to pray for Sweet Kate and her wonderful Momma!

Andrea said...

I will continue to pray for a complete restoration of Kate's health and for you and your husbands strength as well. I just pray that God will wrap y'all up in His embrace and carry you through this journey. xoxo

Andrea said...

Thinking of you guys often.

jlynn said...

I'm so sorry the past few days ahve been so trying. Thinking of you guys and praying for Kate! Sending lots of love your way (((hugs)))

Smudge's Mom said...

always sending love and hope to you and Kate!

Lindsey said...

Sending lots of thoughts and prayers to you, your husband and precious Kate!! Hoping this is engraftment for her so that good things are to come soon! What a precious baby girl she is- wish there was more I could do to help but I will continue to pray!

Anonymous said...

Praying for your little girl.
Kit on TB

Anonymous said...

Hope things are starting to turn around for Kate.

smockedbeauty said...

Lindsey~ we are praying for your precious baby girl and your family. You are an amazingly strong woman and momma!

Tami said...

Kate (and your family) is in my prayers nightly.

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