March 7, 2012
Calling All Mommas of 2+
I need your help!!
We are officially under the 40 day mark until Will is here! And I still have so many things floating around in my head. I need "been there, done that" input from you moms of 2+ on a few things! So, here is my random list of things that I need to hear opinions on!
Video Monitor
We currently have a Summer Infant video monitor for Kate. I know for a fact that I still want/ need a video monitor in Kate's room. Our current model allows us to link up another video camera (which would be in Will's room) and I would only have one receiver for both kids. I'm not sure I'm keen on this idea. All I can think of is being totally exhausted, hearing someone on the monitor, and not being able to flip through the different cameras to realize which kid is awake/ stirring/ needs me. Because of this, I'm leaning towards getting an entirely different video monitor for Will and having two different receivers so I will better know who is causing the monitor to go off.
Am I crazy for having two separate monitors? Be honest please!
Also, after tons of research, I'm leaning towards a Motorola monitor if we get a new one. I'm specifically looking at this model. I'd love to hear reviews/ feedback if you have this monitor!
Living Room Gear
I know we will spend a good bit of time in the living room since we don't have a separate play room. I also know that with #2 you can't just lounge on the couch with a sleeping newborn all day! I'm going to have to put Will down for extended periods of time so I can play with Kate, cook dinner, pick up, etc.
I have this fear of Kate sitting on him in the bouncer or trying to tip him out of a swing. I'm leaning towards getting the Snugabunny Rock n Play Sleeper since it is a bit higher off the ground than a bouncer but doesn't seem as potentially dangerous as a swing + toddler!
What did you keep the baby in? Am I way over thinking this?
Bottles
We plan to formula feed Will from the get go - just like we did with Kate. I think I probably need a few new bottles but I'm wondering what most do with bottle nipples. Just sterilize and reuse? I'd love to not have to buy all new bottle nipples but will if there is a good reason to do so. Also, did your younger child take the same bottles as your older child or did you have to find a new type of bottle for them?
Hospital Visits
I'm having a scheduled c-section that will most likely be first thing in the morning. I know I don't want Kate waiting in a germy hospital and I also want to see how I'm doing post surgery before having her come up to meet her brother (don't want to chance having her there and getting scared if I am sick or something). When did you have your older child(ren) come meet the new baby - keep in mind Kate will be 19 months? How often did they visit? Based on how things went, do you regret having them come up to the hospital? I've heard such mixed things on older siblings coming to the hospital and just want to hear from y'all to help Alex and I make our decision!
Recovery
If you had a c-section, how long was it before you were picking up your toddler (Kate weighs about 22 pounds now)? Able to lift them in/out of their crib? Able to drive? I know a lot will depend on how my c-section goes but I'm pretty sure I have unrealistic expectations about how quickly I will return to life as normal. I've honestly forgotten what my restrictions were after I had Kate!
Family Help
How long did you have, or feel like you needed, help at home? As of right now, it looks like we will have 3 weeks of help (MIL, my mom, and my sister) and then any time Alex takes off (which will probably be a week or two but not at once - more "filler" days between our family and then a week once everyone leaves). Did you need the help? Feel smothered by help? I'm assuming I'll want our family to help the most with Kate so she can still do "normal" things while I just try to survive those first few weeks but again, I may be way off here! Any advice, tips, etc is greatly appreciated.
Random
Did you bring your older child to the new baby's pediatrician visits? We practically lived at the pediatrician with Kate due to her lack of weight gain and tummy issues so I have no clue what a "normal" newborn schedule is like, or if Will will be a "normal" newborn given his health issues. Again, I have no clue why this is something I am thinking about - so random!
Just how hard was the transition from one to two? Be honest people!
Thank you in advance to anyone who is willing to answer my possibly crazy questions and give insight to the world of two children! I think a big part of me is unrealistic in how easy the transition is going to go so I am trying to bring myself back to reality!
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22 comments:
I'm a former Bump mom and I've been following your blog since before Kate was born. I'm so glad she's doing well, and happy to hear about little Will on the way!
I can't help with most of your issues because I have twins... On the video monitor concerns, I have the Summer Infant video monitor with two cameras linked up to the same monitor. I think it's great! There's a switch on the side to go from camera A to camera B. No matter how exhausted, I haven't had issues with flipping between the cameras to see what was going on with both babies. I would think it would be more of a hassle to have two monitors but I guess that just comes down to personal preference.
1. we just have one monitor, but when laney was first born, she slept in a basinet in our room so we didn't need one for her. she stayed in our room until she was around 6ish mnths and once she moved, we took the monitor from libbi's room and put it in laney's. BUT, our master is in very close proximity to libbi's room so we can hear her easily (plus, she's SUPER loud).
2. laney stayed in a bouncy, but it was a challenge to keep libbi off of her and out of it. the swing was such a pain to keep libbi out of, but laney loved it so we just had to watch closely. our pack'n'play had a basinet feature, so we used that a lot, too since it was higher and out of libbi's reach.
3. we attempted to use the same bottles, but laney won't take one. at. all. :(
4. we didn't want libbi hanging around the hospital, either but it was difficult since most everyone that could watch her wanted to be there with us, too. i had laney in the afternoon, so we had my parents bring libbi in to meet her first. she stayed for maybe 10 minutes (and honestly, she wasn't that interested - ha!) we then just tried to keep her on her schedule as much as possible and she didn't come back to the hospital. it wasn't a bad experience, she was just probably too young to really even notice what was going on. she was more content just getting attention from the grandparents :)
5. I didn't have a csection, so i'm not much help here. :)
6. i'm a control freak, so my answer may be different. haha! at least i can admit that i'm a control freak, right? :) i was VERY nervous about libbi more so than laney. i didn't want libbi spending the night out too much, because i was so afraid she would start to feel like we "replaced" her. even though looking back i'm sure she wouldn't have given it a second thought (she was not even 2 at the time). i had a difficult delivery and A LOT of stitches so i had a good bit of restrictions. my mom would come during the daytime while jeffrey was at work. after a week i felt okay enough to be alone with both girls. but i would still have my mom or MIL get libbi during the day once or twice a week so she could get out of the house and have a change of scenery. it was a little easier to me at first just because laney slept all the time.
7. i did bring libbi w/me to appts and i'll be honest and tell you that was (And still is!) one of the hardest things. that is one of the only times that she gets so jealous. she cannot stand laney having all the attention from the dr. and she acts terrible. it stresses me out every time. it's gotten a little better, but still stresses me out. if you are able to take will alone, i would. it's just a lot easier to focus completely on him and be able to ask the questions you want without having to worry about caring for another child at the same time. at least in my case.
you know my thoughts on going from one to two from twitter yesterday. it will be an amazing blessing...for everyone - i'm sure of it! :)
I have 2 boys, 22 months apart. Aiden is almost 3 1/2 and Colin is 18 months.
We have 2 monitors and still use both! We have a summer infant video monitor that we use for Colin and a sony (non-video) monitor for Aiden. We already had both before Colin was born. I wish I had 2 with video - I'd love to be able to see what Aiden is doing when he's not napping!!
We had a Rock 'n Play, but Colin hated it. He has a really cranky baby, so I wore him or just held him a ton. Aiden was fabulous with not getting jealous and I still made sure to give him as much attention as possible once my husband got home. When I could put Colin in the bouncer or swing Aiden left him alone for the most part.
We just sterilized bottle nipples.
We had my parents bring Aiden to the hospital the afternoon after Colin was born (planned repeat c-section). They stayed for maybe 15-20 minutes. He wasn't very interested in his new brother. We had a new toy waiting for him there from Colin, which he loved! He visited for a short bit each day. Each time he got a new book or truck or something small. I missed him terribly, so I was really glad when he came to visit.
I was picking Aiden up by about 8-9 days post-op. He wanted mommy, so I just did it. I think my dr told me to wait at least 2 weeks. He probably weighed 28ish lbs at the time. I didn't get him out of his crib until 2 weeks.
We only had help for 2 weeks. My parents flew out to help out with Aiden. I would have loved more help! It was nice to not have to worry about cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc, and just focus on the baby and toddler.
I always took Aiden with me to the pediatrician visits. We don't have family near by, so I didn't have a choice!
Hope that made sense and helps a bit!
i'm also a former bump mama and rarely comment. buti have to tell you how happy i am for little kate and excited to "meet" will in less than 40 days!
honestly, going to 2 kids was the hardest thing i have ever ever done. but, you'll find your groove and figure it out.Now that charlie is almost 2, it's easier because he and my will are able to entertain each other.
my will didn't come to the hospital much when charlie was born. he was almost 3 at the time and didn't really understand. charlie was born on a friday and will didn't come to the hospital until saturday. i think you should do what you want but for us,it worked best that way. and, my sister took will with her when she left 3 days later and will spent a week with her. It was nice to have time withjust the 3 of us.
I can't believe that you are getting so close!
Ok, so my boys are exactly 2 years apart (X was born 9 days before Jack's 2nd birthday), so all my advice is based on that.
1. Monitor - I'm no help here. We have a monitor but the only time we use it is when we are on vacation. The nursery is right next to our bedroom so we never had a need for one.
2. We had a pack n play, a swing and a bouncy seat. Jack was naturally curious about his little brother, but we never had much of an issue with him disturbing him. He pretty much left him alone when I told him too. I actually had more of an issue of him wanting to "help" me get X out of the swing.
3. I bf'd both boys, but did give bottles. I reused everything that I had with no issues.
4. I had an unsuccessful VBAC attempt that ended in an unplanned c/s with X. My c/s was at noon and my in-laws brought Jack to visit that evening. They stayed about 2 hours. They brought him each day that I was in the hospital for an hour or so. It was enough time to see him and for him to see the baby, but not too much time for him to be totally bored.
5. My biggest concern with my c/s was the recovery. My OB was very honest and said that they will tell you not to pick up anything heavier than the baby for 6 weeks. He said that he knows as a parent of a toddler that it's not realistic. I was given an "unofficial" ok to start picking up Jack after 2 weeks. I was told to try picking him off elevated surfaces (couch, booster seat etc)first. The crib wasn't an issue as Jack was in a bed, but I can imagine that one might be kinda hard. I was allowed to drive after two weeks (although the nasty doctor in my practice tried to say 6 weeks).
6. My husband was home for 2 weeks after we got home. It was enough for me. I recovered really well and was back to 95% about 5 days after X was born.
7. Jack went to every single appointment. In fact almost 18 months into this 2 kid thing, they both pretty much go to each others appointments. Just make sure that you have enough entertainment for Kate so she doesn't get too bored at Will's appointments.
As far as the two kid thing, well I 'll be honest, it was a pretty easy transition for us. I generally have two pieces of advice:
a. Keep Kate's routine as normal as possible. She's a toddler and craves her normal. She will adjust far better if she can have her normal.
b. Take care of Kate's needs/requests first. Yes this seems backwards, but it is ok to let the baby cry/fuss for 90 seconds to get Kate a snack. He will never remember that he had to wait for a bottle but Kate is old enough to think that you are choosing the baby over her. It's not true, but that's how a toddler's mind works. Also, for a good 9 or 10 months, I never told Jack that I couldn't do something with him because I needed to tend to his brother.
You guys will do great!
I'm only a mom of 1 but I do have just one forewarning...We also have a Motorola monitor, which I love! BUT the battery is not so great. We've already had to replace the battery once and it doesn't last long. Everything else is perfect, I'd just have an extra charger if I did it again! :)
Ok, here's what's working for us!
1) We have the Summer Infant Slim & Secure Digital Monitor that allows us to add another camera (which we'll do in the next month or so when Jack moves out of the bassinet in our room). Personally, I think that the idea of having to juggle to different receivers sounds like a pain-- I think that you could have the same problem that you describe, even if you had another receiver. You'd be juggling the two receivers trying to figure out who was crying, instead of flipping between the cameras! I love that all I have to do is push a button and scan between the two rooms. (There is also a feature that automatically switches rooms every 15 minutes.)The less baby junk in my house, the better.
2) Can't say enough good stuff about the Rock & Play-- Jack spends lots of time in it and occasionally Liam will come over and rock him. We have NEVER had any dangerous situations. I don't think Liam could tip it if he tried.
3) Nipples-- Hell yeah, reuse them! Jack would take any bottle we gave him.
4) Liam was walking around the hospital with my aunt while I was pushing & they came in within 15 minutes of Jack's birth. He wanted to climb all over me-- and since I had a vaginal birth, this was ok. If I'd had a c-section it would have been bad!! Liam came back for a few minutes the next day.I'd maybe plan on having Kate come up later that day or even the next morning. Honestly, Liam had no interest in Jack-- the whole "meet your little brother fanfare" was really more for my benefit than his. :)
5) I was blessed that Rob had 6 weeks paid paternity leave. My mom came over at least a few times a week or we went over to her house for the first month or so. The best help I had wasn't actually with Jack-- I had that under control-- the best help was that my mom constantly helped with our laundry & once a week, Liam spent the night with her. Great help your fam can provide while they're there? Ask them to help you stock your freezer before they leave with food that is easy to pop in the oven once the help tapers off... Casseroles, Breads, Soups, etc. I have some great recipes if you need them!
6) I try not to take both kids to the pedi at the same time, if possible. Sometimes we have to, especially now, but in the early days, we asked my mom to babysit Liam while we went. Maneuvering that double stroller in and out of the pedi's office is quite a task.
7) The transition-- SO MUCH EASIER THAN I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE. For me, some of it probably has to do with the fact that Liam was a really tough infant-- colic, reflux, and just generally high maintenance. Jack has reflux, but as long as he's on his meds, he's the happiest, most content baby I've ever seen. He's a breeze...I think that having your first baby is such a shock-- it changes your life in so many ways. When you have your 2nd, you've already made those changes (you've resolved your work schedule, you know that you're a slave to the baby's routine, you're used to not being able to pick up and do anything you want, whenever you want, etc.) Plus, when it's the second time around, you just know what to do. You remember how to swaddle, trick for getting them to burp, how to set a good sleep schedule, etc. It comes naturally.
It's going to be awesome! So excited that he's almost here!
Well I had 2 at the same time so I can't really help you on adjusting to 2 of different ages, but I do have a couple of opinions for you. ;)
Bouncers: We have the snugabunny bouncers and love them. However, if we had know about the Rock & play, we might have gotten those instead.
Bottles: We used fancy bottles in the beginning...Avent, Born Free, etc. but ended up getting the inexpensive Gerber bottles and I wish we had just used those all along. As for the nipples, we really have no way of the girls having their own nipples so we just wash & rinse them in hot water each time.
Hospital visits: Every one handles surgery different so just go by what you're comfortable with. I was ok pretty quickly after my c-section but I would allow some time for just you and Alex to be with Will...to take it all in and enjoy his arrival. :)
Recovery: I believe the standard is to not drive for 2 weeks but I think that's just because of pain medicine. As for lifting, they say to wait like 6 weeks I think. I probably lifted too much too soon but I was fine...no complications. Again, it's really up to you and what your body can handle.
Family Help: I only had help for 2 weeks and then sporadic help for 2-3 weeks after that. I found out then that I could pretty much handle it on my own. I didn't want to but I did. :)
Here's my take! My boys Nate (3) & Cole (1) are 21 months apart, so a lot of these questions are things I was concerned about!
We used the Summer monitor and I was fine with just one receiver. When Cole was 3 months old Nate moved to a big boy bed and Cole started sleeping in the crib. Nate would move the monitor camera, so I just took it out of his room.
We had a taller swing...similar to the snugabunny one because we have a dog and I didn't want him messing with Cole either. That worked for us.
Both my boys used Dr. Browns bottles and I did reuse the nipples after sterilizing. I did find that some of the nipple openings were spliting, but that was probably around 9 months after Cole had been using them.
My in-laws & SIL brought Nate to visit us at the hospital. They stayed long enough to take a few pics and to let everyone get to hold the baby. We didn't even get a picture of the four of us. I was glad he came, but it was really in and out...it will also make you kind of sad to realize how big she is compared to Will :(
We had one week of help and my husband was off for two weeks. It was the perfect amount for us...they really helped keep Nate busy.
I would take Cole for his checkups when Nate was at MMO. I'm actually taking them together for the first time in a few weeks and I'm nervous about it!
The transition from 1 to 2 was not bad to me. I'm a pretty laid back person though and hadn't built up a lot of anxiety about it. Truthfully their ages right now are a lot harder to me than a newborn & 1.5 yr old. I bounced back from the pregnancy a lot faster with the second too. I know it's different for everyone, but I hope your recovery will go well!
Boys and girls may be different but for quite a while Nate didn't really care too much about Cole. Especially if you won't be nursing it's not like you will have moments when you can't attend to Kate rather quickly.
I'm going to respond as soon as I have both kids napping, but I have a quick question for you. My 4.5 month old son will be going inpatient next week for 3-14 days (depending on how his surgery goes.)
I'm trying to get things together for our stay. I want to get him some new pajamas for the hospital. What kind of clothes was Kate able to wear? (i.e. footed or not footed, one piece or two piece, zipper or button?) My thoughts are that footless button us would be best for getting the leads where they need to be. Thanks!
I am so glad you asked these questions, I have a lot of the same ones! I like the rock and play you have pictured, we are looking at that one as well. We never used one with C but I have heard better things about the snug a bunny and I have been curious about it! I don't even know if we will pull down our swing this time, I doubt I could keep C from trying to climb in it. This should be interesting...
Ali - Pajamas will depend on where the IV is placed. Kate had a central line in her chest so two piece jammies were the best option for us.
If your son is going to have a normal IV in her hand/ arm then I would guess short sleeve jammies would be best.
I'd avoid footed or one piece jammies for vital purposes. If he is on a pulse ox reader at all it will be best on his toe (verses a finger) and the easier thing to do if stick the pulse ox on and then put a sock over it.
Feel free to email me with any questions - werefinallythree@gmail.com
My kids are 16 months apart.
1. I never have ever desired two monitors and two recievers. If anything, I would be annoyed at the prospect of having to keep track of two recievers all the time.
We have a Summer Infant video monitor - two cameras, one reciever. No issues whatsoever.
If anything, you can upgrade your Summer Infant to a camera system that scrolls through automatically or one that autmatically jumps to the room where the noise is coming from (instead of manual switching back and forth). But again, I have NEVER ONCE in my wildest pipe dream ever wished for a second reciever.
2. My son lived in our Fisher Price little lamb swing in our living room. It was elevated off the floor so our daughter didn't get "curious". I appreciated the elevation.
That being said, we actually had a full pack 'n play in our dining room in the early months for naps. I limited the amount of time I was walking up and down the stairs but gave him a private, darker, more quiet place to sleep while my daughter played.
3. My babies were breastfed but we did use bottles a fair amount. I reused Kate's (my daughter's) bottles and just sterilized everything. If we have a third baby one day I will probably replace everything. But with two so close in age, and not really using the bottles a TON, they were fine and nobody was injured in the reusing of the bottles ;).
4. My daughter visited the night my son was born (he was born around noon, she came at around 6pm) and stayed for about 30 minutes. But I had a normal vaginal delivery and went home the next day. My DD was 16 months and honestly more interested in seeing me than her brother. It wouldn't have been a big deal if she hadn't come honestly... we have some cute family pictures but it was all a big blur for all of us.
5. N/A
6. My husband took about 10 days off. My mom came for a few days. My girlfriends cooked for me FOREVER. haha. I was rolling in frozen meals.
I actually was alone the majority of my son's first year because my husband was deployed. I survived :). I would play it by ear and see what kind of baby Will is.
7. I avoided taking Kate to Connor's (my son's) doctors appointments when possible. Both to avoid the germs and give the doctor my undivided attention to Connor's issues and well being.
That being said, you can only do so much. My kids have gone to the doctor a lot for each other and that is just the way it has to be sometimes. I wouldn't have your husband take tons of time off for routine pedi appointments, but if you can schedule them when he is available to watch Kate while you take Will it is great.
Again, nothing that you have to really worry about too much. Just play it by ear, do your best, and everything will be okay.
I can't believe you're not breastfeeding...JUST KIDDING!! I can't even tell you how many times I got that comment...beyond annoying!! Okay, I'm going to try my best to answer all of these questions:
Monitor:
I have two monitors and receivers simply because I wanted to know the difference of who was crying. But, I rarely turn Lila's monitor on because she rarely ever cries or wakes up in the middle of the night and I make her play in her crib until I get up to get Alli anyways, but during naptimes, it's great to be able to differentiate between the different monitors.
Living Room Gear:
I used the Fischer Price bouncer that I had with Lila, but I would put it on top of the kitchen table to that Alli would be out of Lila's reach. Once she started to roll around, I put her on the floor in the bouncer but would hook her in. By that time, the novelty of the new baby wore off and Lila wasn't quite as interested in getting to the baby, so she left her mostly alone.
Bottles:
We used all different kinds with Lila (mainly Avent, but she loved them all). We tried all of them with Alli, but the only one that she would take were the Avents (luckily we had the most of those). I would wait until Will gets here and try several kinds to see which he likes the best because every baby is different.
Hospital Visits:
I didn't have a c-section, but I had to keep my iv in for 8 hours after delivery (not sure why). I didn't want LIla to see me hooked up to the wires, and I wanted to be able to move around and hold them both, so I waited for my parents to bring Lila to the hospital until the next day.
Family Help:
My recovery was surprisingly easy, so I didn't feel like I needed that much help after the baby came, but it was nice to have someone to take care of Lila so I could get some extra sleep those first few nights and days at home. My mom was the most help playing with Lila and doing laundry and dishes.
Random:
Lila's 18month and Alli's 2 week appointments coincided so I did them both at the same time. It felt much harder at the time, but it really was no big deal! My mom was here for Alli's first appointment (at 5 days old), so I left Lila at home with her.
I can't believe you're not breastfeeding...JUST KIDDING!! I can't even tell you how many times I got that comment...beyond annoying!! Okay, I'm going to try my best to answer all of these questions:
Monitor:
I have two monitors and receivers simply because I wanted to know the difference of who was crying. But, I rarely turn Lila's monitor on because she rarely ever cries or wakes up in the middle of the night and I make her play in her crib until I get up to get Alli anyways, but during naptimes, it's great to be able to differentiate between the different monitors.
Living Room Gear:
I used the Fischer Price bouncer that I had with Lila, but I would put it on top of the kitchen table to that Alli would be out of Lila's reach. Once she started to roll around, I put her on the floor in the bouncer but would hook her in. By that time, the novelty of the new baby wore off and Lila wasn't quite as interested in getting to the baby, so she left her mostly alone.
Bottles:
We used all different kinds with Lila (mainly Avent, but she loved them all). We tried all of them with Alli, but the only one that she would take were the Avents (luckily we had the most of those). I would wait until Will gets here and try several kinds to see which he likes the best because every baby is different.
Hospital Visits:
I didn't have a c-section, but I had to keep my iv in for 8 hours after delivery (not sure why). I didn't want LIla to see me hooked up to the wires, and I wanted to be able to move around and hold them both, so I waited for my parents to bring Lila to the hospital until the next day.
Family Help:
My recovery was surprisingly easy, so I didn't feel like I needed that much help after the baby came, but it was nice to have someone to take care of Lila so I could get some extra sleep those first few nights and days at home. My mom was the most help playing with Lila and doing laundry and dishes.
Random:
Lila's 18month and Alli's 2 week appointments coincided so I did them both at the same time. It felt much harder at the time, but it really was no big deal! My mom was here for Alli's first appointment (at 5 days old), so I left Lila at home with her.
Check out the Lorex baby monitor. You don't have to switch back and forth.
1 - We have the Summer Infant Baby Touch monitor and LOVE it. It switches between their rooms. With that said, we also have the Angelcare monitor in Braylon's room, so we can always hear him. Also, we have a sound machine in both of their rooms, and the volume is a little different on the monitor so when it switches, it can be distracting. So, I don't think it's crazy to want a totally different video monitor for Will.
2 - We ended up ditching our bouncer for Braylon and getting the infant-to-toddler rocker because Dylan kept sitting in the bouncer, and it wasn't holding up to his weight well. We also borrowed a rock n play which was the best thing ever! But, overall, I do think you're over thinking it and that Kate will know not to sit on Will pretty quickly.
3. We kept the same bottles and bought new nipples.
4. Dylan came and saw us in the hospital later in the evening after Braylon was born. I had a vaginal delivery, and he was 14 months old. It went well, and I am SO happy he came. I missed him so much and that helped me. Dylan just came to visit the one time, and after I was released but Braylon wasn't, I went home to visit Dylan while Cory stayed at the hospital with Braylon. I think if you were to regret anything, it would be her NOT coming.
4. N/A
5. Well, having a newborn and a young toddler is hard. It's pure survival mode for a while. I think you will definitely want and appreciate that help at the beginning until you get into a good routine and then will just have "off" days that you'll want some help. My biggest advice is the usual newborn advice - don't sweat getting the house clean, order take-out, don't stress about too much TV, etc. Just do whatever you need to do to get by until things settle down.
6. I can't even remember... I think Dylan stayed home for the bilirubin check ups at the beginning and the 2 week check up, but then he came along for the other ones usually.
How hard is it - It's hard. There's no sleep when the baby sleeps which was the hardest thing for me. Some things were a lot easier though. I knew more what to expect and things to try when he didn't seem to feel well. I truly knew that the hard times would pass and didn't fret the hard times as much as I did with Dylan. I also knew that he would be fine if he cried longer than Dylan had to because he wasn't the only child. Once we got into a good routine, it was fine. Dylan adjusted easily to Braylon and immediately was enthralled with him and would give him hugs, etc. And now they just crack each other up and have so much fun interacting together. Braylon was the best gift we could have ever given Dylan.
Best of luck with everything! I know how stressful and worrisome this is, but you'll do GREAT!
Also from the Bump and randomly check your blog. My second is a few months younger than Kate, but my two are three years apart.
1). We didn't use monitors...no help here.
2). We had a rock n play for our second and loved it. Very light weight and easy to store and move from room to room. Our daughter slept in it a lot. I would highly recommend it. Just to warn you, I will randomly get it out now and then and our daughter can climb in and out of it on her own. Not sure if Kate is a climber, but I might not completely keep her from sitting on Will :)
3). We used the same bottles, just sterilized the nipples and bought new liners. My DD refused bottles around 2 months and we ended up having to try about four different kinds to find one she'd take, but I was bfing, so I doubt you'll have this issue. But, every baby is different, but you won't know until he gets here.
4). I was induced, also first thing in the morning. My parents kept my son the night before. I called them to have them bring him down when I was ready, which was about three hours after I delivered. He loved it. I wouldn't wait to have Kate meet Will, unless something happens.
5). N/A
6). You'll want the help, mostly with Kate. It will give you a chance to sit on the couch snuggling and feeding your newborn and her a chance to do normal and fun things.
7). My sone cam with us to all of our daughters pediatrician visits.
8). The first couple months were rough. I hemorrhaged after delivery, so I was very very tired for a long time due to that. Also, you just want to sit and be with your baby, but have the demands of a toddler to meet. That is when the help is nice.
1. We have one receiver for our two monitors, which has worked out great for us. However we can switch back and forth between the two cameras. If you can't do that then two monitors makes sense to me!
2. I would put C in both the swing and the bouncy, and M never really messed with her too much. She would normally bring a toy over to give C, but that was about it.
3. I had planned on using the same bottles with C {we had both Avent and Playtex drop in with M} but C's reflux was so bad she would only drink from Dr. Brown's bottle...so we had to go get all new ones.
4.I was induced on a Wednesday morning. I had C at 10:56 am. Little M came to the hospital with my parents that afternoon. She came Thursday afternoon with my parents as well, and then Friday morning she and Skip came to pick up me and C and bring us home. Sh would stay for an hour at most when she visited.
5. Can't help with the csection question, sorry!
6. Skip took off 6 weeks of family leave when C was born. Because we were ridiculously lucky to have him home, we didn't really need much help from other family really. Though meals were helpful for at least the first few weeks!
7. We alsways bring M to C's doctor's appointments, but that's because we schedule them on a day Skip is off, so we all go. I have taken both of them myself once...never again.
I guest posted a blog today about my experience with two http://www.mommymandymusings.com/2012/03/moms-of-more.html I also plan on bloggin more about this soon...let me know if I can help at all!
Okay you've gotten a ton of feedback (yay!) so I won't bore you with my opinions on everything, but I wanted to weigh in on the c-section question since Kate will be about the same size Manning was when I had Deacon. (Manning was younger, but I think Kate is a little smaller...) Anyway, seriously, I stayed in the hospital as long as I could (WHICH I HIGHLY RECOMMEND) and by the time I went home...Deacon was four days old...I think I picked Manning up within just a few days after that. They'll tell you not to pick up anything heavier than Will, but I knew my body, and I was feeling great. Just don't push yourself too hard and trust your instincts.
As far as Kate visiting, Manning only came to the hospital twice in those four days and for only an hour or so each time. As much as you miss them, he didn't understand why I couldn't hold him or he couldn't climb on me etc. It was just easier for Nathan and I to be out of sight and out of mind. He stayed with my parents.
Manning never tried to do anything to Deacon when he was in the bouncy seat or swing. He pretty much ignored him for the first few months...
Oh, and get new nipples. You can re-use the bottles, but nipples are supposed to be replaced because babies suck harder as they get older and wear out the size of the openings or something like that. I actually asked my ped about this ahead of time. haha
I always took both boys to the peds office. That's the one place I always feel comfortable because it's made for kids! :)
I guess I'm answering more of these than I meant to, but I just want you to know, even with mine being SO close together (15 months) it wasn't and isn't NEARLY as hard as other people had me scared it would be. I think it was so good for Manning that I had a baby because a lot of his spoiled/selfish behaviors went away out of necessity, and Deacon has just been the most relaxed baby because I'm not always there the very second he squeaks.
Try to remember- you'll have rough hours, but overall you'll have good days. I'm always here if you have any questions or need to talk. I don't have it all together, but I think I've got this mom of two thing down. :)
Okay you've gotten a ton of feedback (yay!) so I won't bore you with my opinions on everything, but I wanted to weigh in on the c-section question since Kate will be about the same size Manning was when I had Deacon. (Manning was younger, but I think Kate is a little smaller...) Anyway, seriously, I stayed in the hospital as long as I could (WHICH I HIGHLY RECOMMEND) and by the time I went home...Deacon was four days old...I think I picked Manning up within just a few days after that. They'll tell you not to pick up anything heavier than Will, but I knew my body, and I was feeling great. Just don't push yourself too hard and trust your instincts.
As far as Kate visiting, Manning only came to the hospital twice in those four days and for only an hour or so each time. As much as you miss them, he didn't understand why I couldn't hold him or he couldn't climb on me etc. It was just easier for Nathan and I to be out of sight and out of mind. He stayed with my parents.
Manning never tried to do anything to Deacon when he was in the bouncy seat or swing. He pretty much ignored him for the first few months...
Oh, and get new nipples. You can re-use the bottles, but nipples are supposed to be replaced because babies suck harder as they get older and wear out the size of the openings or something like that. I actually asked my ped about this ahead of time. haha
I always took both boys to the peds office. That's the one place I always feel comfortable because it's made for kids! :)
I guess I'm answering more of these than I meant to, but I just want you to know, even with mine being SO close together (15 months) it wasn't and isn't NEARLY as hard as other people had me scared it would be. I think it was so good for Manning that I had a baby because a lot of his spoiled/selfish behaviors went away out of necessity, and Deacon has just been the most relaxed baby because I'm not always there the very second he squeaks.
Try to remember- you'll have rough hours, but overall you'll have good days. I'm always here if you have any questions or need to talk. I don't have it all together, but I think I've got this mom of two thing down. :)
Get the Rock n Play!!! Hands down best baby purchase I have ever made. We are still using it 6 months later. It kept baby boy on an incline and out of 2 year old sisters reach!
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