March 12, 2010

This verse took on new meaning today

"For you created my inmost being;
You knit me together in my mother's womb.
I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Your works are wonderful,
I know that full and well."
Psalms 139: 13-14

I have read this verse so many times before but, today it took on a new meaning. This was the first time I read it since being pregnant with this baby - and man does it take on a new significance!

Some of you know, others of you may not have a clue, but, Alex and I's journey to parenthood has not been easy. Over the past 20+ months we have shed tears of pain, tears of frustration, tears of jealousy, tears of anger, and finally tears of joy. We have lost three babies entirely too soon. We have questioned why this is our path, and we have accepted that while it may not make sense now, His plan is the best plan.

This is the most pregnant I have ever been by several weeks. This baby was God's plan for us. And, while I still struggle with our hard journey to get to this point, and the losses we have suffered, I have a sense of appreciation that I am not sure I personally would have had if I didn't have this long, hard journey behind me.

This baby, my baby, is fearfully and wonderfully made by a loving God that will love both of us and protect both of us no matter what His plans are for our family. I pray every day that those plans include bringing this baby home in August or September. I cannot lie and say I don't worry about the outcome of this pregnancy a lot. But, for now, I think I am going to sit back, read this verse, and remind myself that whatever happens is His perfect plan for Alex and me.

God's works are wonderful - I know that full and well - this baby is my tangible evidence.


~Brit said...

Yes, you are very right. It is, however, VERY hard sometimes to just leave your worries behind and fully trust in God. This is something I am working very hard on. But, like you said, we all know this baby is God's work and there certainly is something special here.

Molly said...

So glad you are at peace. I wish I shared your unconditional faith in God and whatever plan s/he has for us.

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